How to get over Disappointment?


Disappointment hits hard like an unexpected punch in the stomach leaving you breathless. After the initial shock the pain sets in and you vow to never let yourself be caught off guard again. And the only way to make sure that doesn’t happen is to throw in the towel.  Right?

I had spent several days writing a draft of the ‘perfect’ article on a topic that had been on my mind for a while. Then one evening after spending several more hours editing, it vanished like smoke from my screen. Every effort to locate it on the saved folders came to nothing.

We are all bound to face days or seasons when things blow up in our face. A vanished draft may be a small disappointment compared to what you may have experienced. It may be that the job you thought you would get has gone to someone else, you may have expected to have fallen pregnant by now but you are disappointed again or maybe your prayer has not been answered as you expected.

Disappointment will come to all of us and sometimes it can be difficult to pick ourselves up. We may be tempted to throw in the towel, to never try again for fear of being hurt.

So how can we get over disappointment?

Remember what’s important.

Do you care enough about your mission or whatever you’re disappointed about?

I will tell you why I will keep writing despite the small or big disappointments.

Next month will be eight years since our family was affected by loss. We lost our new-born daughter and our mum (my mother-in-law) in the space of two weeks. From that experience, I think one of the most difficult disappointment is when we feel that our earnest prayers have not been answered. We can be driven to conclude that our faith in is in vain.

It was a very dark and lonely time even with the support from family and friends. We didn’t know many people who had been through the same situation.

During that time I read a book written by someone who had experienced devastating loss. Reading his story gave me hope, it was like a light had been switched on enabling me to find my way out of a very dark tunnel.

I realised then that God can use our negative experiences to bring hope to others and ultimately victory over their circumstances.

Remember the story of the talents? In the story, each person is entrusted with a different amount of talents according to their ability. The one who had the least talents went and buried his because he was afraid he would lose it. Isn’t that what many of us do? We don’t try again or make enough effort because we fear disappointment.

So remind yourself why it’s important to give it another go, why you must not give up. When we understand the purpose for what we do we become unstoppable no matter what happens.

Today I choose to remember why I started writing in the first place. I wanted to give Hope and to let someone know they are not alone.

Keeping our eyes focused on our purpose and the purpose giver will keep our feet grounded to our course and give us the strength to get to our destination.

Embrace the Diversion 

Sometimes disappointment can be a little like finding an unexpected diversion on the road, it is annoying but necessary. Diversions force us to take new navigation instructions.

After the draft incident, my daughters very sweetly came to offer their words of encouragement. One of them spoke words which I think we all need to hear. She said, ‘why don’t you take a break and then write about a new idea? What a voice of reason, what wisdom from a young child.

If you are in faith, God promises to order your steps despite the diversions.

”Diversions force us to take new navigation instructions.”

Diversions don’t mean it’s the end of the road, we can still get to our destination but through a different route. After the mysterious disappearance of my draft, I’m now convinced that it was a little diversion so that I would get to write and publish this article first.

It makes sense to embrace your diversion than give up on your journey. Giving up or becoming bitter may seem like a justified response but it will only cause you to abandon your mission.

Remember you are not a quitter!

If this article has resonated with you;

  • Let me know how you have been affected or dealt with disappointment.
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